Random flotsam from the shattered windmills of my mind

Me, architecture, history, politics, Washington D.C., photography, Cleveland

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
(no subject)
new year
James Maslow is this closeted homosexual from San Diego who has been singing opera since he was 10 years old. He got his first acting gig in the summer of 2008 at the age of 17 when he appeared as a hunk who attracted the eye of the teenage star of the Nickelodeon live-action 'tweener show, iCarly.

Last year he was cast in the Nick 'tweener show Big Time Rush. It's a comedy about foru hockey players from Minnesota who try out as singers in an American Idol-type competition. Only Maslow can sing, and when he wins the contest he insists that his buddies come along with him to Hollywood where they can all earn fame, fortune, and get some pussy. Maslow is cute-handsome, has nice biceps and pecs, a winning smile, and is (frankly) the only one on this show who can act or sing.

Each episode of this idiotic show is the same: The boys have run-ins with their fat, dictatorial Caucasian manager; they are adored by their African American assistant manager (who smiles sweetly at how ineffective she is); and they relentlessly seek to sleep with the ultra-buxom, mini-skirt wearing, fashion model girls in their "high school for the performing arts." Every show has a sub-plot in which Maslow's mother (the ultimate stage mom, who traveled with them to Hollywood) pushes her other child, a 10-year-old girl with brains and practical temperament, into one wacky acting job after another.

Just watching a few moments of the show makes your I.Q. permanently drop 15 points.

Nickelodeon has signed a deal with Sony Records to have these four teen males actually cut an album and go on the road a là Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana.

The show has not done terribly well. Its debut two-hour movie in November 2009 barely registered. After endless advertising by Nickelodeon over the next two months (desperate to save its investment in a 20-episode show), the series premiere debuted to record numbers in January. It didn't hurt that a "special" hour-long episode of iCarly (Nick's #1 show, which regularly draws 12 million viewers a day) in which the two leads kiss was the premiere's lead-in. Since then, however, Big Time Rush has fallen on hard times. Two weeks after the show's debut, it was shedding half of iCarly's lead. The badly aging, five-year-old Disney Channel show, The Suite Life on Deck (featuring those closet homosexuals, Cole and Dylan Sprouse), is regularly beating the show 13 percent (a quarter-million viewers!) among children aged 6-to-11 and by 17 percent (a quarter-million viewers!) among 'tweens aged 9-to-14 -- Big Time Rush's super-duper-ultra-key demographic. Not good.

The show airs each Friday, and Nickelodeon is relentlessly pushing it in ads.

Each morning, I turn on the television and watch the weather while brushing my teeth. As I get dressed I flip channels or watch something I've recorded (like shows that air at wee hours of the morning on Adult Swim).

This morning, while pulling on my socks, I let the channel stop on Nickelodeon (which was airing SpongeBob Squarepants). I looked up to see James Maslow have this exchange in a high school hallway filled with young kids. He's speaking with the 10-year-old girl playing his little sister on Big Time Rush:
  • Girl: James, acting isn't just about being beautiful.

  • James Maslow: I know that! It's also about having washboard abs!
At this point, Maslow lifts his pink shirt, exposing his eight-pack, and whoop-whoop-whoops while twisting his body around and flexing his rock-hard abs.


What high school boy would expose his body to his little sister like that? Even as a joke?

What parent thinks it is appropriate for a 19-year-old actor to be exposing his body to their 9-to-14-year-old daughter?

Mass media has a habit of sexualizing children to a degree that is very troubling. It's not just the four-year-old girls appearing in "beauty contests" wearing make-up like a whore and posing like a pole-dancer. It's 14-year-old Alexa Vega being French-kissed by 20-year-old Sean Faris (playing a 15-year-old; his muscular, hairy, adult body always a standard teenage boys should judge their self-esteem by), who happens to be slipping his hand up her skirt as he does so. It's 20-year-old muscle-bots and fashion models like Kendall Schmidt pretending he's an "average teenager" who is just 16. How is this good for anybody???

Ratings for this show will skyrocket on Friday, I'm sure. But not for the reasons Nickelodeon prefers, I think.

  • 1
Oh you think everyones a closet homo

I was right about you, wasn't I?


umm minus the closet sir LOL

You're a fucking idiot.

Number 1: James is NOT a homosexual. As hard as you wish he was to make yourself feel better about your own pathetic existence, he's just a pretty boy that apparently you are terribly jealous of. It's not his fault you weren't blessed with his looks, charm and apparent talent. If you don't think he's talented, good for you, he's no Robert De Niro, but at least he's trying his best and loving every minute of it.

Number 2: James doesn't win anything in the audition for the American Idol-esque competition. He gets nervous, his voice cracks and Gustavo Rocque, the ill-tempered record producer looking for a new star, criticizes him to the point where his friend, Kendall, gets upset and stands up for his best friend. Once Kendall sets Gustavo straight, Gustavo decides he wants Kendall to be the next big star, and Kendall says he'll only accept the offer if all four best friends go.

Number 3: They're teenage boys! What teenage boy do you know that DIDN'T think about girls in high school? And if you say none you're full of shit.

Number 4: None of James's family is on the show. The only character who's family moves to L.A. with him is Kendall's family. His mother, Mrs. Knight, and his baby sister, Katie, move with the boys into the Palm Woods, the hotel that's provided to them by the record company, Rocque Records.

Number 5: That ten year old girl you claim to be playing James's sister isn't even ten and isn't even his sister. Her name is Erin Sanders, and she plays the role of Camille which is one of the first girls the boys befriend as they arrive to the Palm Woods. She's an aspiring actress, and since James plays a narcissistic sweet heart on the show, he asks her for help on starting his acting career since in that episode, their boss Gustavo gives the boys a day off to do what they want.

You shouldn't sit there and criticize James or any of his co-workers/friends when you obviously haven't watched the show or even care to know what they're about. And what the fuck are you talking about? Kendall doesn't pretend to be anything. He's a nineteen year old kid from California. He has a show on Nickelodeon and he has his own band on the side. You should really do your research before you sit there and write horribly inaccurate 'reviews' about things you apparently know nothing about.

And no, I'm not a fifteen year old fan girl defending my pop star crush, you're just a fucking moron and reading this post got me so irritated since it's so inaccurate, I felt compelled to correct you.

okay first of all tim1965 can say what he wants due to freedom of speech 2nd it was kendalls family who came im agrreing with you there 3rd james is gay thats a fact and hes jewish 4th i happen to think he is very sexy and im a guy so that makes me gay ok. now before you put shit on peoples wall think about first u bitch.

Um, just like tim1965 can say whatever he wants, so can I, and I can defend James as much as I want. I don't know what YOU, moonplanetpower, are talking about, but James is NOT gay, and what does him being Jewish have to do with anything? NOTHING, so shut the hell up and take your own advice about thinking before posting.

it's so sad that people like you claim that a teen boy is a "closeted homosexual" just because his current image is one that caters to younger teen girls.

It's so sad that you hurl accusations like that without knowing anything about me. (And he's not a "teen boy"...)

Wow I recently saw James Maslow at the grocery store and he was perfect!!! He let me cut him in line because I was only buying a few things! SO SWEET!! oh and I also made sure to check out if he was wearing any makeup and he deffinetlyyyy was NOT!! What a natural hottie! He is NOT a closet HOMO, don't be jealous :)

Being gay doesn't mean you wear make-up. And plenty of gay men would let you cut in line, if you were nice about it.

I'm hardly jealous, as Maslow is pretty much like 100,000 other models on the Web. (His personality would need to be pretty incredible to attact me beyond the "yeah, I guess he's cute" stage.)

How amazing that I mention the guy once, but I keep drawing haters...

I know that James most likely (probably, most certainly) does not wear make up, but I just think it's hilarious that the first time I watched BTR (which, sadly, was two days ago), I spent most of the time thinking, "Is that guy wearing eye liner?"
Yesterday my sister watched the show with me, and she asked the exact question aloud, and we spent a loooong time staring at a blown-up image of the hottie on my computer until we came to the conclusion that no, James Maslow does NOT wear eyeliner. XD

opinions are opinions

looking from both a fan and unbiased 18yr old's perspective, i can agree on some of your points. however i think you need to know a little more about the show (or at least, understand the facts correctly) in order to properly critique it.
that is not his sister on the show. the mom and little girl are the mother and sister of the "leader" of the group, Kendall.
dont ask me why i know so much, babysitting has forced my exposure to shows like this over the past 6 months.
and i wasn't aware of the 2 hour pre-series special in november 2009, the kids i watch would probably have seen it though.

also i would like to point out to other commentors that being gay is not a bad thing, seeing as most artists and male models are to begin with. on the show he is portrayed as the idiot narcisist with a good voice, but what i've seen via interviews (scripted by nick-columbia, perhaps? but whatever) he is a bit more complicated than that. i wouldnt mind discussing a few current event topics over coffee with the man someday.

YES i do agree that the media is making things more sexually appealing to younger generations. since when has the term "sexy" been added into screen writing for tweens?! since i was shocked to hear the 9 and 12 yr old kids i watch laughing at it when said rather loudly on an iCarly episode. where's the line between social norm and innocent kid shows?
and i have to agree, once again, that guys in their 20s (as all BTR memmbers are this year), should not play 16yr old kids. its painfully obvious that none of these guys are anywhere near minors. and if 3 years ago guys in my class did look like that, i probably would have not turned into a lesbian by 18, to say the least. i was a fan of Kendall Schmidt before he landed the gig in Nick. if you are familiar with the webseries Poor Paul, he is the mastermind behind the "pussy song" (not to mention his own band Heffron Drive which has lyrics about sex, clubbing and drinking) which i do not mind, if not for little kids now google-ing these things and coming across them. it's actually kind of funny in a sad way.

but you know what, that is Nickelodeon, Disney, and really any other mainstream "6 to 16 demographic" show for ya. always screwing up the new generations, be it miley cyrus, victoria justice, the sprouse twins, or james maslow.

  • 1

Log in